Noodle Soup

I spent a few days with my best friend from High School and his family. They have four kids ranging from 10-15 yrs old.

I learned a lot being with his family, but I specifically want to talk about an incident that occurred while the adults were out to dinner.

Mrs. R got a call that her 2nd oldest had thrown her noodle soup onto the eldest daughter. The mother initially wanted all parties on the line so that everyone could state their side of the story. However the eldest wanted the noodles out of her hair and wanted to go straight into the shower.

She spoke to her 2nd daughter and asked her for her side of the story. Without judgment or a change in the tone of her voice Mrs. R stated that she expected her to apologize and to clean up the mess (along with some hints.)

When we got home, everything had been taken care of. This issue was over and there weren’t any more words for the parents to say.

I am always humbly reminded that when our kids know our expectations, they know how to win. This is a prime example.

How have your expectations with your teens made the path easier?

Dawn-Marie
www.Parent.Family-Rx.com

Decisions

I was talking to the mother about the topic in the July 10th blog regarding parents owning their child's responsibility instead of teaching their children how to handle situations.

This single mom (and I am in awe of all single mom’s) has a Jr in college (UC Berkeley) and a HS senior (planning for Yale).

She commented that she would not make decisions for her children. She told them that she is not always going to be there for them and they are going to need to think for themselves and make decisions.

She taught them how to use the pros and cons of a situation to help guide them in their decisions.

What an awesome way to empower her kids; by trusting them to make the right decision and giving them tools to do this.

How do you empower your teens? Please post below.

Dawn-Marie
www.Parent.Family-Rx.com

A Pre-Teen’s Conflict

Our teens are both mature and in need of guidance at the same time at this age. It’s just knowing where each applies is the challenge.

My son flew from San Jose; Ca to Philadelphia, PA with a 1.5 hour lay over at Dallas Fort Worth Airport (DFW) to visit my uncle and see the historic sites of the area.

When we were figuring out his flight schedule, my biggest fear was my pre-teen having to change planes at DFW. Luckily, the airlines required us to pay for him to be escorted. Of course, my son said it was no problem he could handle it. Not only was I concerned about him changing planes, I was also concerned about adults that might notice him being by himself (am I too doom and gloom?).

Well, the Dallas area was having major storms the day of his flight. His flight got into DFW ~2 hours late. Because my husband and I could not confirm his second flight had taken off, I called the airlines and found out his connecting flight was delayed by 4 hours.

Just then, my son called from the “Unaccompanied Minor’s Room”. You could hear the fear/panic in his voice. He relaxed once I explained the situation.

What would have happened had he not been escorted? Would he have known what to do? Even though he wanted to be treated like an adult, he definitely needed the escort.

I followed my gut for reasons other than why I needed to. And as a parent, I think it is important to listen to what your gut says; you can learn a lot.

Has anything like this happened to you? I’d love to hear about it.

Dawn-Marie
www.Parent.Family-Rx.com

Listening

My son, in particular, does not say whatever is on his mind. In fact he doesn’t say much about what goes on in his world at school; unless I ask questions. Of course, even then, I don’t hear as much as I want to hear.

What I have noticed though, is when my son begins the conversation, it’s either something he thinks is really cool and he’s excited about it, or something happened and it is bothering him.

Per the excitement, I'll listen and ask questions to figure out what is driving his excitement.

On the latter, I typically drop what I am doing and try to name what he is feeling about the situation. We talk about how things could have gone differently. Depending on the situation, we discuss what he needs or what his friends need from him.

Does your kid have a pattern of talking about things that happen to him? Have you been able to listen to your kid lately?

I’d love to hear about the patterns you’ve noticed.

Dawn-Marie
www.Parent.Family-Rx.com