Words Are Powerful

This is going to sound extreme, but it's the truth. A relative and I were talking about our fathers while we were growing up. It came up that her father called her a slut and a whore beginning when she was about 12 or 13 yrs old.

After several years of being called these names, she figured she might as well live up to these names. I was flabbergasted that (1) her father even said these things to her and (2) her reaction to it.

This is proof that labeling our children is setting them up for failure. So if your first one is your jock and the second one your brain, your children may very well change to fit into these stereotypes. And maybe this is okay with you.

The most common labeling I see is when small children hide behind their parents when they are introduced to adults. The parents usually say their child is being shy. Guess what, your child starts believing this. To enable your child not to be shy, state that your child is just not ready to say hello yet or she needs to warm up to new people. This gives your child the power to determine when he or she is ready to say hello.

Encourage your children to be their own great individual persons by acknowledging both what they do well and the effort they give.

I'd love to hear your experience on how words have been powerful to you or your children.

Focusing On The Future

I believe in focusing on the positive. I’m sure you have met someone in your life where everything is a negative. Bad things are always happening to them. And the flip side, I’m sure you know that person who is always positive, never has anything negative to say about anyone and to whom positive things are always happening.

The other day I was reading the book, “Parenting at the Speed of Teens” by Search Institute. Two questions really struck me: “How much time do you spend thinking about what you ‘don’t’ want your teen to do or become?” and “How much time do you spend thinking about how you do want your teen to grow up, what you want her or his life to look like---both now and in the future?”

This made me stop and think. I have been spending more time in the present and current issues and not the goal of raising a happy, functioning adult. When I think about it, I look forward to interacting with my son when he’s at college, afterwards and when he starts making a family.

How much time do you think positively about your child’s future?

Annoying

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Annoying

Upcoming Teleseminar
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ANNOYING

If you have more than one child, I’m sure you’ve heard one or both of the phrases “She’s annoying me” or “He’s annoying me”. Not only are the kids driving each other nuts, it’s driving me nuts too.

I actually got this idea from another parent I was talking to. She was telling me when she’s just ready to scream she tells her family to “Pause”. This means she’s leaving the room to take a breather from the situation.

I loved it. So I taught my children to say “pause” to each other, and I, when the other person is being annoying. This means the annoyer has to stop whatever they are doing (tapping their toe, humming a song, or any number of things.) This has really dampened, not eliminated, the roundabouts we have about being annoying to each other.

How do you handle “annoying” situations? I’d love to hear about it.

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PARENTING TELESEMINAR

Topics: Communicating with Your Child & Setting Boundaries and Role Modeling
Date of Calls: Monday Nov 6 & Nov 13 2006
Time of Call: 7pm-8pm PST

Come join this F*REE Teleseminar (long distance charges may apply)

Just send an email with "Parenting is an Adventure" and any questions you would like to have covered to DMCook@Family-Rx.com and a confirmation will be sent to you.